I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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