I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ladies don't puke and tell
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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