In the future we'll all be gay
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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