Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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