i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
