4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Drake has all the answers
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
