we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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