My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
