walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
