the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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