Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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