its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
