lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
