i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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