guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
