Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
