You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
