If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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