I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
