you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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