what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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