Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
vagina is talking i cant
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
