I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
