just come out here and I will go home with you...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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