He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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