they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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