I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
