dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i think my mom watched the whole time
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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