if you like me you must not know who I am
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
