I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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