He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
