Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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