it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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