Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
