what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
