I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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