please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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