Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
