He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so explain again why im purple
no
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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