If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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