I wanna bring you to show and tell
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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