Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
