Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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