you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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