In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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