He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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