it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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