If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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