when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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