he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
